How To Overcome An Inferiority Complex - Pastor Chai

During the New Life Bible class, I mentioned that I suffered from an inferiority complex until my mid-forties. Someone in the class sent me an email saying that she had the same problem and wanted to know how I overcame mine. The following is a part of my response:

Attacking your inferiority complex directly doesn’t work. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you aren’t inferior, the small voice that says you’re inferior doesn’t go away. An inferiority complex comes from comparing ourselves with others. So to overcome our inferiority complex, we should stop comparing ourselves with others. To do that, we must learn to see ourselves and others from God’s point of view.

We are infinitely valuable to God. God loves each of us like we’re only ones who exist in the world. When we devalue something that is so valuable to God, it hurts Him. When we realize that, we can no longer consider ourselves inferior to others and pity ourselves.

Other people are also infinitely valuable to God; God loves them with the same love by which He loves us. When we envy others or put them down, it saddens God. When we realize this, we cannot be jealous of them or think ill of them.

When we entrust our lives to God’s hands, He helps us live the lives we are meant to live, lives that are beautiful, meaningful and rewarding. These lives aren’t the same for every person. We must simply live our lives the best we can. It shouldn’t be our concern what kind of life God leads others to live. There should be no comparison. We just trust God, obey Him, and live the lives God assigned us to live.

We cannot tell for sure whether our lives are successes or failures before we die. Only God knows. A life the world deems successful and applauds may be a failure to God. The things that the world considers blessings may turn out to be curses in God’s judgment. The success and failure of our lives will only be determined on judgment day. We must set our sights on God, who will judge with fairness and righteousness, and live our lives the best we can.

It takes time to see yourself and others from God’s perspective. You have to be patient and do your best each day with the hope that someday, you will be freed from your inferiority complex. In the meantime, when you meet someone you feel is superior to you and the inferiority complex kicks in, give a verbal compliment or congratulate their achievements via email. When you keep doing this, you will gradually begin to sincerely want them to succeed and your inferiority complex will slowly disappear.

- Pastor Rein

How to Discern God's Will - Pastor YoungGi Chai

Each month, I would like to share Pastor Chai’s column. He’s the one who started House Church ministry movement and influenced many churches and pastors around the world. I’m sure you will enjoy his letters to us.

Recently, a church member who was facing an important decision asked me how to discern God’s will. I’d like to share the email I sent to him. It may be helpful for people who have similar questions.

The best guide to finding God’s will is the Bible. If you are given the opportunity to buy a bustling bar at an attractive low price, you don’t even have to think about it, no matter how tempting the deal may be. Selling hard liquor and running a bar is obviously against God’s will as revealed in Scripture.

But many situations aren’t this clear cut. Often, people have to choose between two options, neither of which are clearly sin. For example, people might have to choose between two job offers. Or they might have to decide whether or not to marry the person they’ve been dating. They want to discern God’s will for their decision, but it’s difficult when no option is clearly sinful.

When you’re given choices like these, choose what’s enjoyable and makes you happy. Our purpose in life is to serve others. If we want to serve others well, we should enjoy what we’re doing and live happy lives for ourselves. So when choosing a job, ask yourself: will I enjoy doing this for the next 10 or 20 years? When thinking about a potential spouse, ask: will I be happy living with this person in 10 or 20 years after romantic feelings have faded?

When you have no clear preference, choose on the basis of ministry. There are three areas of ministry in your life – family, work, and church. Make the choice that aligns with your ministry goals. For example, if your family’s finances are tight, it’s reasonable to choose the job that pays you best. If your family needs more of your time, choose the job that gives you the most time to spend with them. If you’re involved with important church ministries, choose the job that gives you the most flexibility to serve in them.

Once you make a decision, it’s best not to look back. God values your motivations in decision making more than the decisions themselves. If you try to honor God in your decisions, God will honor them even if they’re not the best. He may redirect your way so that you eventually return to the right decision or help your poor decision produce good fruit. Take the time to discern God’s will, but once you’ve made a decision, go with it boldly and don’t look back, expecting that God will honor it.

Pastor Rein